Thursday, July 17, 2008
High School Exit Exam Heaven...
Newsflash......Devon comes up big as he rides the coattails of the Holy Spirit and crosses the Math Exit Exam threshold!!! There's no looking back now, only thanksgiving to God and moving forward.
Hurray!!!!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
A shoulder to cry on...
Devon just returned from his annual summer sojourn to SoCal. Grandma Merry came with him. The first week was difficult. The last year, devon and i have been kind of attached at the hip and for him to be gone felt different than in last years when he went down.
As time went on..it was a roller coaster. I realized that I really hadn't really made time to fellowship that much with others while Devon was at home. It felt kind of awkward...I felt alone...and lonely.
With Devon gone there was space. There was room. The question was, what was going to happen in this space? What would this space be filled with?
As it turned out, I was able to mourn and be sad...I started to read Gail's journal which I had never done previously. This was good to do. I read a lot about her feelings, her thinking, her disappointments and dreams. It was an opportunity to see the world through her eyes. Who and what was important anyways?
Most of the writing was about devon. The journaling was done over a 3-4 year period, which was helpful. It brought me in touch with the depth of her love for our son. It was real and present in the here and now. It really made me miss her. Her words were speaking both lament and encouragement for me. In fact, a picture that the Lord gave me was that we were still walking side-by-side both holding the hands of Jesus. The thought and reality of still being able to be enjoined together in this life was pretty overwhelming. I did not feel so alone.
It was both sweet and sad at the same time. My mourning went deep. What we had was so special and yet sweet because we are together still. Gail's spirit lives on. I became so thankful for all the time that she spent with Devon and the absolute voracity and tenacity with which she loved the both of us. A true reflection of Jesus.
This space also offered an opportunity to get away by myself for a brief fishing trip to Tioga Lake. I returned to the very spot that Gail, Devon and I, together with the Fukuzawas and Yahatas had fished a week prior to Gails passing. I had first gone by myself about 6 years ago, sleeping in the car and fishing hard then ending with a cool quiet time of reading the Word and journaling.
I almost bolted the lake without the journaling. I stopped at an overlook of the lake and had my lunch at a picnic table and hung out, journaling. I recalled the Word or the Lord to me six years ago, "Begin with the end in mind" What kind of legacy would I leave? It brought me back to God's Word and BSF(Bible Study Fellowship).
I started attending BSF as a result of God telling me that his Word is from everlasting to everlasting and that He wanted Devon to know of his goodness through His Word. Devon and I attended BSF for about three years and then there was not a high school leader available. So Devon could not go. As time went on, my attitude soured and this last year, I just went through the motions. I signed up for this upcoming fall, but I started telling a few friends that if the high school program isn't available, I would quit.
I then wrote down the books of the Bible that I had studied through BSF and started to think of life without BSF. The Lord encouraged me that there was value for me attending BSF this last year. I gave what I had, and I showed up. I also had the opportunity to ride with a friend Taylor and I realized the value had a lot to do with the friendship with Taylor who, toward the end of the year had the opportunity to bring two precious orphans from Russia for a 5 week visit. We shared stories of expectant parents and the anxious anticipation.
I had dinner with Taylor and his wife the week after the girls left and was filled with such joy to hear how blessed they were. I came to realize that the year of BSF was all worth it just to see God work in our friendship and to partake in the Lord's blessing of their time with these girls which they wish to adopt.
I realized how patient that the Lord has been with me. I had felt so sorry for myself. I couldn't see His plan. He is so gracious! I made a commitment to continue to pray that somehow that there would be a high school program available for Devon. If not, that God would have a better plan for Devon's study of the Word of God.
Please pray for us as we walk out our lives holding onto Jesus, often in fear in trembling. We believe...help us in our unbelief.
God Bless you all!
Love,
Jon and Devon
As time went on..it was a roller coaster. I realized that I really hadn't really made time to fellowship that much with others while Devon was at home. It felt kind of awkward...I felt alone...and lonely.
With Devon gone there was space. There was room. The question was, what was going to happen in this space? What would this space be filled with?
As it turned out, I was able to mourn and be sad...I started to read Gail's journal which I had never done previously. This was good to do. I read a lot about her feelings, her thinking, her disappointments and dreams. It was an opportunity to see the world through her eyes. Who and what was important anyways?
Most of the writing was about devon. The journaling was done over a 3-4 year period, which was helpful. It brought me in touch with the depth of her love for our son. It was real and present in the here and now. It really made me miss her. Her words were speaking both lament and encouragement for me. In fact, a picture that the Lord gave me was that we were still walking side-by-side both holding the hands of Jesus. The thought and reality of still being able to be enjoined together in this life was pretty overwhelming. I did not feel so alone.
It was both sweet and sad at the same time. My mourning went deep. What we had was so special and yet sweet because we are together still. Gail's spirit lives on. I became so thankful for all the time that she spent with Devon and the absolute voracity and tenacity with which she loved the both of us. A true reflection of Jesus.
This space also offered an opportunity to get away by myself for a brief fishing trip to Tioga Lake. I returned to the very spot that Gail, Devon and I, together with the Fukuzawas and Yahatas had fished a week prior to Gails passing. I had first gone by myself about 6 years ago, sleeping in the car and fishing hard then ending with a cool quiet time of reading the Word and journaling.
I almost bolted the lake without the journaling. I stopped at an overlook of the lake and had my lunch at a picnic table and hung out, journaling. I recalled the Word or the Lord to me six years ago, "Begin with the end in mind" What kind of legacy would I leave? It brought me back to God's Word and BSF(Bible Study Fellowship).
I started attending BSF as a result of God telling me that his Word is from everlasting to everlasting and that He wanted Devon to know of his goodness through His Word. Devon and I attended BSF for about three years and then there was not a high school leader available. So Devon could not go. As time went on, my attitude soured and this last year, I just went through the motions. I signed up for this upcoming fall, but I started telling a few friends that if the high school program isn't available, I would quit.
I then wrote down the books of the Bible that I had studied through BSF and started to think of life without BSF. The Lord encouraged me that there was value for me attending BSF this last year. I gave what I had, and I showed up. I also had the opportunity to ride with a friend Taylor and I realized the value had a lot to do with the friendship with Taylor who, toward the end of the year had the opportunity to bring two precious orphans from Russia for a 5 week visit. We shared stories of expectant parents and the anxious anticipation.
I had dinner with Taylor and his wife the week after the girls left and was filled with such joy to hear how blessed they were. I came to realize that the year of BSF was all worth it just to see God work in our friendship and to partake in the Lord's blessing of their time with these girls which they wish to adopt.
I realized how patient that the Lord has been with me. I had felt so sorry for myself. I couldn't see His plan. He is so gracious! I made a commitment to continue to pray that somehow that there would be a high school program available for Devon. If not, that God would have a better plan for Devon's study of the Word of God.
Please pray for us as we walk out our lives holding onto Jesus, often in fear in trembling. We believe...help us in our unbelief.
God Bless you all!
Love,
Jon and Devon
Saturday, June 21, 2008
God used a lot of people to help Devon pass Algebra.
It take's more than hard work to pass Algebra, at least for this kid and this Dad who's math skills add up to???? A lot of it was the deposit of Gail's in-yo-face, Devon you're gonna get this, or else! Well....Gail's doin' a lot of cheering up there and for good reason.
I received Dev's report card this week and 2 C's and 4 A's. I'm thankful for all the prayers and encouragement that you all have given to us this past year. It has borne fruit in our lives. It's the stuff of sustanance, mercy, grace and strength. Some prayers are sown in tears...
Another blessing is that Devon is ahead in credits so his two solids for his senior year are US Government and English. The hope is that he will be able to get into the workability class and get out early and go to work. There is a Safeway, just across the bridge. He might apply there.
He needs to work with people. Big surprise. He worked a part-time job at a local hospital and he and Emmy did both filing and working with the people. Guess who won out in the popularity contest??
Devon arrived in SoCal on June 17th and will head back the week after the 4th of July. Although Devon has visited So Cal every summer since we moved, North, it has been more difficult to be alone this time. You can be praying for me during this time and beyond as I have been down, after Gail's one-year anniversary. The future holds so many unknowns and it can feel a bit overwhelming at times.
Devon and I are going to go on a short term mission together to spend time with the Navajo native americans. This should be an adventure with other high schoolers from our church. I believe that Devon and I will grow with one another as a result of this trip.
Give Devon a call or get together with him while he's down, he doesn't have much planned.
Love,
Jon
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Remember Gail ......June 7, 2007
Hi Everyone,
It's almost been a year and I can't believe it. It is going to be a year this Saturday June, 7th. This year has been really hard but God has gotten us thorugh this year so far. But it is still hard. I request that everyone who reads this post up thier feelings up on the blog on what they are feeling about my Mom's one year anneveriary of when she passed on the blong and one thing you remember about her. I would like to hear from as many people as possible. Please continue to pray as we are preparing our hearts and our souls for this saturday the one year anneversiary, and that we would remember how she lived and not how she died. I am really thankful to have had and still have a Mom who loves me and cares about me so much. I am saddned that she is gone but it's God's will that she is in heaven. She is no longer suffering and that is the main thing. She is and was the best Mom I could ever have and will have. I do not know how to say in words how thankful I am to her for the things she did for me to make me the person I am today. I will pray for each person, friend, and family member that knew my Mom, that God will bring comfort to you all as this Saturday approches. She would of course want us to mourn her. But why don't we countinue to live her legacy and shine her light. Let us keep her legacy alive and keep that light that she turned on keep shining thorughout our lives. I hope one day I could see God and my Mom face to face and be with my Mom again and to just be in a loving embrace. She will always be in our hearts in the past, present, and future. Thanks.
Sincerly,
Devon and Jon Yoshimine
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Homecoming 08 @ June Lake, Ca.
Hi everyone-
Devon and I had a great time @ June Lake this year. We were a bit apprehensive about going up. I was debating whether or not to bring Gail's ashes with us.....and decided that it was best not to, because we know that she was there with us in Spirit.
And what a wonderful Spirit it was. A few months before it all happened, I called Brice and told him that I could not do the trip this year, that is head it up.
Orignally, Brice, Steve Yahata, Jeff Sano and I conspired and plotted to pull the trip together with mucho other helping hands (eg. condo hosts etc.). This year, though, it seemed right to turn it over again to the very willing and capable hands of friends like these.
As it turned out, it was the right thing to do. I was able to take as much or as little time with people as I needed (wanted) to. And I savored the time that I had just sitting down and talking with you all. Normal prime fishing time was filled with conversation and reflection. It seemed that if there was ever a year to have mucho snowfall, it was this year. At least for me personally.
We still got out to fish, but it wasn't that much of a priority. And that was ok. I guess I'll have to make it up by fishing harder next time out. Oh well.
There was a memorial service for Gail on Sunday night @ the Community center. Sandee Hunt, brought river rocks and asked that each that wanted to, write one word or phrase on the rock that reminded them of Gail. The rocks were brought forward and laid on the ground. This symbolized to me, God's faithfulness and deliverance. Devon and I were able to receive from the body through prayer. It was a cleansing time, as I felt that though the grief was still there, much of the bitterness was washed away.
Devon had a good time condo hopping as did the other teens. It was good for Devon to be with his extended family both from Half Moon Bay and So Cal. We were do blessed to have friends from Half Moon Bay join us this time around.....and they had a stinkin BLAST! We want to thank you all for making them feel so welcome!
It really ministered to us to see you guys connect with one another. These folks are walking with us on more of a daily basis and it was good to see the body working.
A few weeks prior to coming up to June Lake, I had a session with my counselor. As usual, I did not know what I was going to talk about during our session. On this particular day, a lot of pent up fury came out. I didn't realize how pissed off I had been with God. I guess that I had been seething under the surface. Devon, ever perceptive, was always able to pick up on this, but I always made light of it.....until I just exploded. Several images came to mind while I was sharing with my therapist....One was me shaking my fist at God and just ranting at him and shaking my fist at him for screwing my and Devon over and complaining about the sorry life we had.....Another picture was one of me pounding my fists on God's chest and crying and yelling....asking why he took Gail away.
I realized that God can handle my grief, my fury, my pain...anything... I think that this letting go allowed me to receive more fully from the Father during our time together @ June Lake.
I long for Devon to be able to express his feelings too. Although he says that he is angry, I'm not sure if he has directed his anger, hurt toward the Lord. Please be praying about this. He did hear me sharing about my anger during one conversation @ June, and he too admitted that he was angry.
Starting last week, our church is entering into a period of Renewal as our pastor is on a 4 month Sabbatical. The theme today was about entering God's rest. You might be able to listen to the podcast by going to www.marinerschurch.org. or something like that. There are two Mariners, so go to the one in Half Moon Bay.
Right now our plan is to come down on June 7th to spend Gail's anniversary with family, then drive home.
The summer is still fairly open. Devon and I are going on a mission with Mariners to the Navajo nation in Arizona. We were all set to attend Redwood this summer, but heard about a high school trip and Devon and I felt that this is what God wanted us to do. As most of you know, Gail, Devon and I love to do ministry together, and this is just a continuation of this. It will be a neat opportunity to serve together in ministry.
He has applied to do Camp-by-the sea, to be a counselor in training. He did this last year also. Plus at least of few weeks down South. He will be going to summer school because he does not need any more credits. Please be praying for wisdom in these decisons regarding summer and check out the message about Rest from the Mariners website.
Love,
Jon and Devon
Devon and I had a great time @ June Lake this year. We were a bit apprehensive about going up. I was debating whether or not to bring Gail's ashes with us.....and decided that it was best not to, because we know that she was there with us in Spirit.
And what a wonderful Spirit it was. A few months before it all happened, I called Brice and told him that I could not do the trip this year, that is head it up.
Orignally, Brice, Steve Yahata, Jeff Sano and I conspired and plotted to pull the trip together with mucho other helping hands (eg. condo hosts etc.). This year, though, it seemed right to turn it over again to the very willing and capable hands of friends like these.
As it turned out, it was the right thing to do. I was able to take as much or as little time with people as I needed (wanted) to. And I savored the time that I had just sitting down and talking with you all. Normal prime fishing time was filled with conversation and reflection. It seemed that if there was ever a year to have mucho snowfall, it was this year. At least for me personally.
We still got out to fish, but it wasn't that much of a priority. And that was ok. I guess I'll have to make it up by fishing harder next time out. Oh well.
There was a memorial service for Gail on Sunday night @ the Community center. Sandee Hunt, brought river rocks and asked that each that wanted to, write one word or phrase on the rock that reminded them of Gail. The rocks were brought forward and laid on the ground. This symbolized to me, God's faithfulness and deliverance. Devon and I were able to receive from the body through prayer. It was a cleansing time, as I felt that though the grief was still there, much of the bitterness was washed away.
Devon had a good time condo hopping as did the other teens. It was good for Devon to be with his extended family both from Half Moon Bay and So Cal. We were do blessed to have friends from Half Moon Bay join us this time around.....and they had a stinkin BLAST! We want to thank you all for making them feel so welcome!
It really ministered to us to see you guys connect with one another. These folks are walking with us on more of a daily basis and it was good to see the body working.
A few weeks prior to coming up to June Lake, I had a session with my counselor. As usual, I did not know what I was going to talk about during our session. On this particular day, a lot of pent up fury came out. I didn't realize how pissed off I had been with God. I guess that I had been seething under the surface. Devon, ever perceptive, was always able to pick up on this, but I always made light of it.....until I just exploded. Several images came to mind while I was sharing with my therapist....One was me shaking my fist at God and just ranting at him and shaking my fist at him for screwing my and Devon over and complaining about the sorry life we had.....Another picture was one of me pounding my fists on God's chest and crying and yelling....asking why he took Gail away.
I realized that God can handle my grief, my fury, my pain...anything... I think that this letting go allowed me to receive more fully from the Father during our time together @ June Lake.
I long for Devon to be able to express his feelings too. Although he says that he is angry, I'm not sure if he has directed his anger, hurt toward the Lord. Please be praying about this. He did hear me sharing about my anger during one conversation @ June, and he too admitted that he was angry.
Starting last week, our church is entering into a period of Renewal as our pastor is on a 4 month Sabbatical. The theme today was about entering God's rest. You might be able to listen to the podcast by going to www.marinerschurch.org. or something like that. There are two Mariners, so go to the one in Half Moon Bay.
Right now our plan is to come down on June 7th to spend Gail's anniversary with family, then drive home.
The summer is still fairly open. Devon and I are going on a mission with Mariners to the Navajo nation in Arizona. We were all set to attend Redwood this summer, but heard about a high school trip and Devon and I felt that this is what God wanted us to do. As most of you know, Gail, Devon and I love to do ministry together, and this is just a continuation of this. It will be a neat opportunity to serve together in ministry.
He has applied to do Camp-by-the sea, to be a counselor in training. He did this last year also. Plus at least of few weeks down South. He will be going to summer school because he does not need any more credits. Please be praying for wisdom in these decisons regarding summer and check out the message about Rest from the Mariners website.
Love,
Jon and Devon
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
A letter to my mom
Mother's Day for Devon and Jon.
Devon wrote this letter to Gail. We tied it to a helium balloon and let it fly up to heaven. This letter evoked many tears from the both of us as it was a sad day.
Dear Mom,
I really miss you. How is it in Heaven? I hope you enjoy it. Thank you Mom for all the things you did for me like: cooking, loving me when I was in a bad mood, cuddle, and spend time with me. There is nothing I could do to repay you. I really miss having you around. I miss your smile and your kindness you always showed to me no matter what mood I was in. Thank you. I don’t know what life brings next. You’re the best Mom that I could ever have. Now I don’t know what to do without you. Will I ever see you again? I feel so helpless without you, because I was so dependent upon you. I want to thank you though for the impact you made on my life, as well as many others. You made me into a better and stronger person as a result. I hope I can honor your memory by my life. I love you.
Love,
Devon
Devon wrote this letter to Gail. We tied it to a helium balloon and let it fly up to heaven. This letter evoked many tears from the both of us as it was a sad day.
Dear Mom,
I really miss you. How is it in Heaven? I hope you enjoy it. Thank you Mom for all the things you did for me like: cooking, loving me when I was in a bad mood, cuddle, and spend time with me. There is nothing I could do to repay you. I really miss having you around. I miss your smile and your kindness you always showed to me no matter what mood I was in. Thank you. I don’t know what life brings next. You’re the best Mom that I could ever have. Now I don’t know what to do without you. Will I ever see you again? I feel so helpless without you, because I was so dependent upon you. I want to thank you though for the impact you made on my life, as well as many others. You made me into a better and stronger person as a result. I hope I can honor your memory by my life. I love you.
Love,
Devon
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Mother's Day...
All-
Your prayers have been keeping us going. Devon had his Math Exit exam today.
Thank you for praying. He took his sweet time. He checked his work and he said that he made approximately 20 corrections. The test proctor was his independent studies teacher and he told me that he would make sure that Devon took his time.
Good buddy, Steve Yahata coached and tutored Devon on a regular basis in order to prepare him for his exit exam.
Devon and I will both meet with his counselor, Cindy tomorrow evening. We will be discussing Mom's Day. Cindy suggested that Devon write a letter to Gail and tie it to a helium balloon and watch it sail heavenward. Wow.....this just floored me!
Good buddy Kenji will be with us on Mom's Day. It is still hard to believe in some ways.
Devon and I will be travelling to June Lake in a few weeks to be with family and friends. A part of the service will be to remember Gail.
It was at that time almost a year ago that we were together worshipping the Lord together. Gail's mom Merry was there and her nephew, Justin, Lauren, Tricia and Leigh and Katie. We celebrated communion together and the people that had been coming over the years took bread and gave it away.....
Thanks for being with us in Spirit, dear friends.
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