Held together with duc tape....

This is my journal above. It is 4 years old and held together with duc tape.

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It still serves its purpose though because it still has some blank pages.

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This morning I had 'my time' with Gail. I spoke to her in the first person. The conversation did not come easily. There were a lot of starts and stops, but we were there....together.

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This was not something that I was looking forward to and it took me a week to do it. It was, however, time well spent. There was longing, pain, sorrow and a strange peace, all mixed together. It was quite messy, actually.

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I can see her now.

There she was, lying there so peaceful, a nurse had braided her hair and her favorite turtle blanket was covering her....she was saying not to worry about her, that she was going to be with Jesus and that she was safe and sound. That was both comforting and painful. This fact illcits the same feelings even now.

The painful reality that she is no longer here sinks deeper by the day and yet her memory lives on in us.

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I see Devon honoring Gail everyday. He has matured so much in a short time. No wonder. The Lord and Gail were quite a team. I sense that they are both pleased by what they see.

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I myself hope that I can be more and more like Jesus and Gail and become less that He can become more.