The Living Reminder

I was telling my counselor recently that I want to carry Gail with me in the present and into the future and not leave her in the past. I know that I am already doing this, but how do I celebrate and rejoice in what we had together? ......I guess it's to remember....I need a living reminder....I'm finding that remembering takes work and time...there are many reasons (excuses) for not making time to remember. One is pain. Remembering brings me face to face with my loss. By not going there, am I denying Gail's (God's) desire to speak to me in the midst of my tears? Maybe. Is that where the comfort is.

It's early Saturday morning. And it's quiet. Devon's sound asleep. I do my best thinking in the Morning. I just returned an E-Mail to a long time friend. There were a lot of questions in that E-Mail, questions that I hadn't been asking myself too much. Good questions. Needed questions. They got me thinking.

I haven't posted an entry in awhile. In a way, this is a good way for me to process, because I know that so many people that I care about and that Gail and Devon care about read this and that is of tremendous help. Why? Because we know that you may not understand everything, but you understand just the same. We don't need to hear that from all of you all of the time, but we need to know that you understand and are with us.

This understanding translates into 'God with Us' You know, it's weird but God, someone that you think can be so far away, can be so near and so real. You just know. His presence is real.

When I go there, I don't have to go alone. He is there. He is the guide. He is waiting. I am lonely but not alone. This is what it means that 'God is with Us'.

God gave me a gift as I logged on this morning carrying my thoughts.....He gave me the poem that our buddy Veronica Navarro wrote and recited at Gail's memorial service in Half Moon Bay. She is a member of our Half Moon Bay cougar hoops team. She defines the word 'Spirit'. If you ever read this Veronica, thanks from Jon, Devon and Gail....

A Tribute to Gail Yoshimine

Patience, Caring, Woman
Three Words that described her well.
She who loved to help any man.
Even those who seemed invisible to man's eye
Because she wanted all humans to succeed
She who handed out uniforms that made us feel united
A team.
She who celebrated the disabled,
For who they were
For their ability
That htey hadto offer the world
She who loved smiles on others faces.

I know that she is in heaven
With Angels all around.
Know she is watching Devon
Down on the ground.
To see what he is doing around town
Know she is watching Kim and Greg.
And the kindness they they will bring
I know she's watching Jon
She really loved to watch him do his thing
And I know she's watching me,
A kid on the team.

For a dear woman who I've only known for a season,
I miss you for many reasons.
I'll remember your kindness.
And patience
Your soul
Your memory will last with me as I play,
Coach
And Cheer
For the basketball team
or when I go around half moon bay
And when someone else helps me see
The very special woman that I am and will continue to be
Thank you for all you've done for the coastside special needs kids.
From a kid on the Coastside Cougars
Who has NLD and CP.